


It Takes a Village

by Seito



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Family, Gen, Humor, Lal is not paid enough to deal with this, Reborn did not sign up for this, Verde wonders about his sanity, Viper does not appreciate being tricked into this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seito/pseuds/Seito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was not part of the plan. Wait, he could fix this. After all, how hard could it be to raise a kid by yourself? (Famous last words, Iemitsu.) </p><p>Iemitsu tries to be a competent father. He succeeds… with some interesting results. </p><p>(Or the story of how baby Tsuna has all of Vongola wrapped around his tiny sticky fingers).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For xxEmmy
> 
> I'm not entire sure how successful I was in your prompt, but I hope you enjoy!

This was not part of the plan. This was absolutely not part of the plan.

What was the plan in the first place? Iemitsu choked. Well, there wasn't really a plan and now that the reality of everything was finally hitting him, he realized how much he had fucked up. Lal had every right to kill him when he got back to headquarters. Wait, wait, wait. He could salvage this. Sure it wasn't the way he wanted his precious son to grow up, but he could fix this. He could totally fix this. After all, he was the head of the CEDEF, the Young Lion of Vongola, there was no problem he couldn't handle.

Besides, how hard could it be to raise a kid by yourself?

Famous last words.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"You're a what?" Lal hissed. Despite being a head shorter than Iemitsu, the intensity of her glare made up for the difference in height.

"A father!" Iemitsu said, beaming. He held out his precious tuna fish out so Lal could see him. Tsuna slept through the entire exchange, unaware.

Lal's murderous rage only grew. "Why," she gritted out, "did you kidnap a baby?"

"I did not kidnap him!" Iemitsu protested. "He's mine!"

"He looks nothing like you!" Lal snapped. Soft brown hair and chubby cheeks were more than enough proof.

"Of course not!" Iemitsu said. "He took after my beautiful Nana!" His heart clenched a little at the thought of his beloved dead wife. He never expected to become a single father, that Nana wouldn't live past Tsunayoshi's birth, but when life gave you lemons… He did know how to make a damn good lemonade if he could say so himself.

"You're telling me that all those times you've disappeared this past year, you've been courting a civilian, married them, had a kid and then brought the kid back with you?" Lal asked frigidly.

"Yes…?" Iemitsu said.

"YOU IDIOT!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The mafia and babies did not mix well together.

To be more accurate, the mafia and the baby known as Sawada Tsunayoshi did not mix well together. Six months old and Tsuna already had everyone wrapped around his tiny sticky fingers. He was, as Iemitsu would say, so adorable, cute and distracting and "How can I say no to a face like this Lal?!"

(Lal's blood pressure was through the roof for months.)

Nono was indulgent of Tsunayoshi, whom he considered to be his first grandson. He was usually the first to volunteer to babysit Tsunayoshi, bouncing the growing toddler on his knee while reminiscing about his own sons at this particular age.

As a result, Nono may have started needling Enrico to get started on providing more grandkids. Enrico loudly protested that Tsunayoshi would have to do for now. Massimo would laugh in the background and Federico would use the argument to run off with Tsunayoshi himself.

But for reasons unknown to everyone, Xanxus was Tsunayoshi's favorite of the Vongola brothers. If only for the colorful hair decoration the youngest brother wore, which Tsunayoshi tracked with cheer, batting at them. (And Xanxus _**let**_ him!)

Basically, no one was working when they should be. Tsuna was too distracting and was often passed around while being cooed at.

It got worse when Tsunayoshi learned to crawl. Suddenly, it was impossible to keep him out of anywhere.

Iemitsu had a heart attack the first time Tsunayoshi managed to crawl into the gun range, only to start crying when the gunshots scared them.

"Don't cry my precious tuna fishie! Papa is here," Iemitsu comforted Tsuna.

The CEDEF headquarters was babied proofed after that. So was the Vongola Mansion. Many CEDEF members could be seen running after a crawling Tsunayoshi who was off exploring. Lal just face palmed and muttered 'idiots' under her breath.

Really it was amazing that anything got done these days.

(Iemitsu was not helping. The man was incapable of denying his son anything.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Iemitsu's inability to tell Tsuna no had gotten them both into trouble multiple times.

For example:

"What do you mean you blew our entire budget on lion themed baby clothes and toys?" Lal asked, crossing her arms as she stared down at her boss.

Iemitsu held out Tsuna dressed in a cute lion onesie. Tsuna babbled, reaching out for his Aunt Lal. "Lions! Tsuna loves lions!" Iemitsu said proudly.

Or:

"Boss," Oregano said, "We just repainted Tsunayoshi's room a week ago."

"But this week Tsuna's favorite color is yellow!"

Or:

Lal took one look at the toddler in Iemitsu's arms and said, "No. Fuck no, Iemitsu."

"His name is Basil," Iemitsu said, pouting a fashion that looked exactly like one of Tsuna's pout. "Tsunayoshi needs a sibling!"

"We are not an orphanage Iemitsu!"

(Oregano ended up adopting Basil regardless.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

One day, Tsuna disappeared.

"What the fuck do you mean he's missing?" Xanxus snapped. He had been dragged over to the CEDEF headquarters because a certain blond idiot had promised his son that Xanxus would come over to play today. Only when Xanxus arrived, he found Iemitsu crying, people running around like headless chickens and the fucking trash were unable to tell him anything.

Lal pinched the bridge of her nose, just completely and totally done with all of this. "Exactly that. Tsunayoshi crawled off somewhere and no one know where. Iemitsu had been inconsolable for the last ten minutes."

"He's nine months old!" Xanxus snapped. "He can't have gone that far!"

"TSUNNAAAAA!" Iemitsu cried out.

Both Lal and Xanxus stared at him.

"I feel so fucking sorry for baby Sky," Xanxus said. "He's going to grow up with that as his father."

"I know," Lal moaned. "Poor kid. I'm praying his mother's genes won out. I can't deal with two Iemitsu in the future."

"I think this belongs here."

They both turned around, surprised to see Reborn standing behind them. Cradled in the World's Greatest Hitman's arm was a certain missing toddler.

"Tsunayoshi!" Lal and Xanxus scolded.

Tsuna merely clapped his hands together, babbling cheerfully and blissfully unaware of the stress he had caused.

"TSUNNAAA!" Iemitsu shouted, bouncing over them. All traces of the crying had disappeared and the CEDEF's boss smiled brightly. "Come to papa!"

Looking unimpressed, Reborn handed Tsuna over. Only before he could do so, Tsuna latched onto Reborn's jacket. "Bobo!" he shrieked, refusing to be separated from Reborn.

"Go to your father," Reborn said, pulling Tsuna's hand from his jacket. Tsuna just stubbornly reattached himself to Reborn's sleeve this time.

Iemitsu looked at Tsuna, who pouted at him and then at Reborn, who glared at him. He clasped a hand on Reborn's shoulder and said, "You're hired Reborn. Welcome to the CEDEF family."

With his free hand, Reborn shot at Iemitsu. The bullet narrowly missing Iemitsu's shoulder, a warning shot. "I'm not joining anyone's famiglia," he hissed.

"But you're Tsuna's favorite person!" Iemitsu said. "That means you're now family! It's a paid job!"

"Hey!" Xanxus protested. "I'm Tsunayoshi's favorite person!"

"I am not a babysitter," Reborn said darkly.

Off to the side, Lal looked upward toward the sky, sending off a silent plea. Idiots, all of them. She was not paid enough to deal with this.

Tsuna just laughed, never letting go of Reborn's sleeve.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Later, much later, Reborn would discover that Iemitsu had made him Tsunayoshi's godfather. What kind of idiot decided to make a freelance hitman the godfather to his child?

Reborn vowed then and there, he would make sure absolutely all of Iemitsu's quirky personality traits were trained out of Tsunayoshi.

Nine month old Tsunayoshi had no idea what he had just signed himself up for. No, he was too busy eating the ice cream his father was feeding him.

It would turn out that many people were invested in making sure Tsunayoshi didn't grow up like his father. This in turn meant exposing Tsunayoshi to as many different role models as early as possible and as frequently as possible. There was no shortage of babysitters for Tsunayoshi.

Life continued on in true Vongola Style.

Iemitsu smiled, laughing as Tsunayoshi would latch onto someone knew every month and hiring them on the spot. Nono continued to spoil his favorite grandson while Federico spent his time kidnapping Tsuna every possible moment. Xanxus grew swiftly overprotective, bristling at anyone who would dare challenge him for Tsunayoshi's favorite person spot. Reborn's first gift to Tsunayoshi may have been a tiny fedora (which Tsuna adored). More and more people were pulled into Tsunayoshi's orbit.

And Tsuna?

Tsuna, growing bigger each day, basked in the love and warmth of his large family.

After all, it took a ~~village~~  mafia famiglia to raise a child.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I don't bother continuing my one shots. But tumblr has been feeding my headcanons. (Pssh that's the secret on getting me to continue things. Just asking me to continue doesn't really do much.)
> 
> So enjoy the chapter.

With the introduction of Reborn to Tsuna, Dino and Tsuna were bound to meet eventually.

It involved nine month Tsuna sitting at the top of the stairway, waving at Dino. Instantly smitten by the cute child, Dino ran up the stairs to greet the tiny precious baby that was waving at him. Only he got halfway up, tripped and fell down the stairs.

Tsuna laughed at that, clapping his hands.

Dino was starstruck.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Stop playing with Tsuna, Dino."

Dino looked up to see his tutor staring down at him. He looked back at Tsuna whom he was playing peek a boo with. "But Reborn," Dino whined. "Look at this precious baby!"

"Yes I know. Tsunayoshi is a cute baby," Reborn said. "But you have training and if you don't want it doubled, you stop now."

(Somewhere in the back of Dino's mind, he wondered why Reborn wasn't just shooting at him and throwing him outside. If he only knew that Reborn was actually trying to curb his chaotic tendencies around Tsunayoshi.)

"But my little bro loves playing with me! Right Tsuna?" Dino said.

Tsuna babbled and clapped his hands. As Dino was busy gushing over Tsuna, he didn't recognize the way Reborn stiffened just a little.

That was when Xanxus came out of nowhere and threw Dino down the stairs. "You're not allowed to call him little bro!"

"What? Xanxus! WHY ARE YOU FIRING SKY FLAME BULLETS AT ME?"

As Xanxus and Dino destroyed the front entrance, Reborn took the moment to pinch the bridge of his nose and picked up Tsunayoshi from the ground. In true fashion, Tsunayoshi loved the brightly orange Flames that were flying around everywhere. He waved his tiny arms, trying to grasp at them.

Reborn pulled out his cellphone and hit speed dial. "Lal," Reborn said. "Tsunayoshi just picked up another big brother."

"WHAT?!"

"And the front entrance is being destroyed."

"AGAIN?!"

Reborn hung up, letting Lal vent her frustrations on someone else. Reborn looked at Tsunayoshi and sighed. "You're going to be so much trouble when you grow up, Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna just blinked.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Telling Iemitsu no was a trial.

Making sure he listened was another.

Lal took a deep breath and counted slowly to ten. She couldn't kill her boss. The paperwork wouldn't be worth, nor would inheriting his position. Not to mention, Tsunayoshi would grow up without a father…

She stopped to consider if that was really a bad thing.

Instead, she kicked her stupid boss once more. "Tell me again, Iemitsu why half of the training yard has been redone into a playground?" Lal growled.

"Tsuna is going to need to a place to play!" Iemitsu said, groaning.

"Didn't I tell you no, we can't afford it?" Lal said sweetly.

"But it's Tsuna!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Viper," Lal pleaded. "I'm begging you. Take over maintaining the CEDEF budget."

"It's going to cost you," they said dryly.

"If you can keep us on track and on budget, I consider it a win," Lal said.

"Very well," Viper said. "Show me your books."

Lal opened a room filled with stacks of papers. "Here's everything from last month."

"... You must be joking."

"I wish I was."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Papa!"

Iemitsu's shriek of joy could be heard for miles.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Reborn handed Lal a glass of wine. She threw her head back and swallowed it in one gulp before slamming the glass down on the table. Groaning, she placed her head on the table.

Reborn swished his own glass, watching the wine swirl. "Tsunayoshi's first birthday is in two weeks," he said calmly.

He didn't say anything when something suspiciously sounding like a whimper came from Lal.

"Iemitsu has mention something about a cake being flown in from France, and some paid actors dressed as that silly Japanese cartoon show that Tsunayoshi likes," Reborn continued on. "Nono has already given everyone the day off and last I checked, there was a heated debate over what would be on the menu and a cooking competition is being organized to see who has the honor of cooking for Young Master Tsunayoshi."

Reborn drained his glass. "I've already told Dino, no a real life pony is not acceptable for a one year old. Federico has already stolen a copy of our security plans so we'll have to remake them before he decides to sneak out with Tsunayoshi again. Xanxus wants to give Tsuna a pair of guns and Enrico is telling him a knife is more than acceptable. I've shut them both up. Vongola now owns a toyline because Massimo couldn't decide on what to give Tsuna."

He refilled Lal's glass. She swallowed it in a gulp the minute Reborn placed it back down in front of her. Then he filled his glass once more before just giving Lal the rest of the bottle. She took another swing.

"We're assassins," she said, staring at the bottle as if it held all the answers in the world. "The Arcobaleno. The World's Strongest. How is it between everyone here, we're the only sane ones when it comes to dealing with Tsunayoshi?"

"No clue."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As far as Lal and Reborn are concerned, Tsunayoshi's first birthday went perfectly fine.

Anyone who claimed about fire, screaming, lost of limbs, or a food fight was _lying_.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Viper never left. There wasn't a choice. It started off slow enough.

First:

"Here you go Viper."

Though it was hidden by their hood, Lal knew Viper was glaring at her. "More? I just finished balancing everything since Tsunayoshi was born!"

Second:

"Viper, Lal said to give this to you. Iemitsu came home with a whole new dog themed wardrobe for Tsuna." Reborn handed over a folder.

"What?! He just bought dog themed outfits last month!"

"And next month Tsunayoshi will go back to liking lions the best," Reborn calmly remarked.

Third:

"Viper," Oregano greeted. "Boss bought Tsunayoshi a petting zoo."

"THAT IDIOT!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Viper stalked into the room where Lal and Reborn were hiding out. With a flick, she stole the glass of wine from Lal's hand, drowning down the alcohol.

"You two are insane," they hissed.

Reborn retaliated by plopping Tsuna into Viper's arms. (Iemitsu had yet to figure out that the baby he had been reciting stories too was a carefully made prop).

"Pi, Pi," Tsuna babbled, patting against Viper's shoulder and smiling.

Viper levitated Tsunayoshi away from them. "You're not worth it," they grumbled. Tsuna look at them, surprised and spinning in mid-air.

(Big Mistake Viper)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Up?"

Viper looked down to find Tsunayoshi pulling on their robes. "Up?" Tsuna repeated.

"Are you going to pay me?" Viper asked.

Naturally, Tsunayoshi didn't understand. Instead, he scrunched up his face. "Up?" he repeated again.

Viper sighed and lifted Tsunayoshi off the ground with their powers. Tsuna shrieked in joy.

In the back corner, Reborn smirked. "Hook line and sinker."

"At least Viper won't cause us more stress," Lal said.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"TSUUNNNAAA!"

Viper stared as Iemitsu lifted a chair, checked behind the curtain and was currently pulling books of shelves. Turning to Lal, Viper opened their mouth, but Lal cut them off.

"Iemitsu and Tsuna are playing hide and go seek," Lal said, not looking up from the book she was reading.

Viper turned to look at the single couch in the room. There laying stretch out was Reborn and tucked into Reborn's arms, a tiny hand curled around Reborn's jacket was Tsunayoshi, asleep.

"But Tsunayoshi is sleeping with Reborn," Viper said slowly.

"I know," Lal said. "Tsunayoshi has been asleep for an hour."

"And Iemitsu hasn't noticed?" Viper asked, disbelief coloring their words.

"Yup."

"Why on earth did you ever want to work here?" Viper asked in disbelief.

Lal groaned. "I ask myself that every day."

"TSUNNAAAA!"

"How long until he notices that Tsunayoshi is with Reborn?" Viper asked.

"I give it another hour or until Reborn gets sick of listening to Iemitsu yell," Lal said.

Viper took another look at Reborn who didn't appear to be aware of them (though that probably wasn't the case). "Reborn is really wrapped around Tsunayoshi's finger, isn't he?"

Lal snorted. "Aren't we all?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lal is not paid enough to deal with this. Reborn did not sign up this. Viper does not appreciate being tricked into this.
> 
> All in all, things are going great. 
> 
> And yes, there will at least be one more chapter. 
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out!


	3. Chapter 3

With everyone around Tsuna neatly wrapped around his finger, it only inevitable that Tsuna's reach would expand and start pulling people in from the outside.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Verde hadn't slept in last 64 hours. This was not strange; he was quite wrapped up in an experiment. When he reached this state, nothing really registered and he wasn't all that aware of his surroundings. However, the lack of sleep must clearly be getting to him because he was imagining a brown haired toddler, pulling at his lab coat.

"Lion!" said the toddler.

Verde blinked once, twice. He stared at the fluffy brown hair, wild and unruly like flames. Hmm… Lions and flames…. He could work with that.

At the 70th hour mark, Reborn, Lal, and Viper burst into Verde's lab with mixed reactions. Mostly horror, a bit of relief, but mostly horror.

There, passed out on the couch was Verde, asleep and Tsuna playing with a small lion cub with a Sky Flame mane.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Lal raged.

Verde nursed his head, trying to drown out Lal's screeching. Viper sat in the corner, furiously writing reports and Reborn was gently(?!) trying to convince Tsuna to let the potentially dangerous lion cub go.

"Fascinating," Verde said, pushing up his glasses. "How on earth did I create such a creature?"

"You don't know?!" Lal shouted.

"Tsuna," Reborn said patiently. "Please let the cub go."

Tsuna clung to the lion cub harder. "No! Mine!"

"I'm surprised you just don't snatch it from him. Since when do you play nice?" Verde remarked. A pillow went flying across the room, hitting him in the face courtesy of Viper.

"What has gotten into your three?" Verde asked, exasperated. Lal's shouting aside, Viper and Reborn were actually almost parental in their reactions.

"We're trying to minimize the negative and insane influences on Tsunayoshi's life and you. Are. Not. Helping!" Lal said, smacking him on the back of his head.

"Padrino," Tsuna whined as Reborn gently extracted the lion cub from Tsuna's arms.

"If it's safe, you may get him back," Reborn said kindly. He dumped the trembling lion cub into Verde's arm.

"You're his godfather?" Verde asked, eyebrow raised.

Reborn scowled. "Iemitsu's idea. I want to know how stable this lion cub is, why the hell did you think it was a good idea to combine it with Sky Flames, if it's going to grow and how dangerous it is. Understood?" _'Or you're a dead man'_ went unsaid.

He didn't wait for Verde's reply before sweeping down to pick up an upset Tsuna and stalking out of the room.

"This has to be a joke," Verde said flatly. The lion cub meowed at him, curiously looking around.

"It's not," Viper said, floating past him.

"You're going to fix this Verde. Or there's going to be a whole slew of people pissed off that you got Tsuna's hopes up like that," Lal said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

One did not simply understand Tsuna's obsession with lions. However, the blame could largely be placed on Iemitsu.

As the Young _Lion_ of Vongola, his general scruffy appearance and frequent trips to the zoo with Tsuna, Iemitsu had solidified Tsuna's love of lions into something that would stay with him for the rest of life. Some (Viper) thought it was a manifestation of Tsuna's (odd) love for his father (who was still an idiot). Others (Xanxus) thought it had to do with the fact that Iemitsu often dressed up as a lion to cheer Tsuna up. A few (Lal) blamed the bedtime stories like Wizard of Oz that were read to Tsuna. Reborn was the only one who, often in the dark and by himself, wondered if the blasted stuffed lion he had given Tsuna on the day they first met was the cause.

(To date, no one actually knew where Tsuna's favorite stuffed lion had come from outside of Reborn. As far as everyone was concerned, Iemitsu had bought it on one of his many shopping sprees. Iemitsu thought someone else gave it to his precious tuna fishie).

So, confronted with the idea that he had a _real_ lion that was taken away from him, absolutely crushed Tsuna. He often sat in the corner, listlessly playing with his blocks and ignoring everyone.

Those were very dark days in the CEDEF headquarters. Lal's blood pressure went through the roof as more and more people were tripping over themselves to cheer up Tsuna. Iemitsu flipped between swearing to kill Verde, threatening to punch Reborn and downright begging Tsuna to smile. Reborn took it upon himself to sit in Verde's makeshift lab, _patiently_ waiting for Verde to finish his tests. His dark and deadly aura filling the room, causing beads of sweat to roll down Verde's neck. Viper… Viper budgeted an extra 200% to the repair bills because sooner or later something was going to explode.

Verde on the other hand, had no idea what he had gotten himself into.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Natsu?"

Verde rubbed his tired eyes, staring at Tsuna who was once again tugging at his lab coat. He threw his hands up, fed up. "You know what, here. Take him." He handed the lion cub to Tsuna.

Tsuna let out a happy cheer, hugging the cub. The newly dubbed Natsu purred, rubbing against Tsuna's cheek.

"If the lion cub hurts him, you're dead, you know that right?" Lal said calmly. She was leaning against the doorway of Verde's makeshift lab in CEDEF Headquarters, watching him.

"If it gets everyone off my back," Verde snarled, "it'll be worth it!" He was sick of everyone breathing down his neck.

Something hit his leg and Verde looked down to see Tsuna hugging his leg. "Thank you!" Tsuna said, beaming.

Normally, that would be the end of it, but like all things with Tsunayoshi, it never really was that simple.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Verde fell into the same trap as Viper. He simply never left. Tsuna didn't give him a choice in the matter.

First:

"Natsu!" Tsuna held up Natsu for Verde to see. The small lion cub purred, his Sky Flames glowing brightly.

"That's nice," Verde said, noting down a few observations. Iemitsu insisted that Verde stay a bit longer and Verde wasn't going to complain about free food.

Second:

"Why do I have to do this?" Verde asked as Tsuna finger painted his white lab coat, a mirage of colorful spots.

"Pretty," Tsuna said.

Third:

"Play?" Tsuna asked, Natsu in one hand, tugging on Verde's lab coat.

"This the fifth day you've asked me this," Verde complained.

"Oh my god. You're his favorite. Reborn and Xanxus are going to kill you," Lal laughed as she realized what Tsuna was doing.

"What?!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Everything came to a boiling point when Verde walked into a room to find Tsuna and Natsu balanced precariously on top of what could only be described as a death trap.

"Ready for your super fun slide Tune-fishie?" Iemitsu dressed as a clown for some reason. At the top Tsuna clapped his hands.

Verde would forever deny it, but his Flames immediately jumped out of him, wrapping Tsuna and Natsu up in a tight cage, shocking Iemitsu and dismantling the death trap.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!" Verde shouted.

"But but," Iemitsu said.

"No!" Verde cut him off. "Are you trying to kill your son? What kind of father are you?"

A hand spun him around, shoving chocolate into his open mouth. Verde found Viper looking at him unamused as Lal dragged off Iemitsu and Tsuna safely in Reborn's arms. Natsu on the ground, wrapping himself around Reborn's legs.

Verde swallowed. His head hurt, his heart was racing, why the hell did he think staying was a good idea? "Is it always like that?" he hissed.

"Yes," Viper said.

"Every day. It's been tame while you were here so far," Reborn said dryly.

"How has Tsunayoshi survived this far?" Verde asked.

"Why do you think the three of us are here?" Viper said, sulking.

"How are you three surviving this?" Verde asked.

"Lots of alcohol," Reborn answered.

Verde took off his glasses and rubbed his face. He could hear Lal reaming out Iemitsu in the next room. "I don't know how, but somehow I'm going to incorporate some sort of protective feature in Natsu."

"You do that," Reborn said.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Verde twitched as he watched Dying Will Flames explode all around him. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, Tsuna was wandering about, watching the brightly colored orange flames dance around him. Verde wasn't sure on the how or why, just that somewhere along the way a fight broke out between Iemitsu, Xanxus, Dino and Federico.

Lal took pity on him and handed him a glass of wine.

"This happens all the time?" Verde asked in disbelief. He drowned the entire glass of wine in a single gulp, slamming the glass down on the table.

"All the time," Lal confirmed.

"And you're not worried that Tsuna is in the middle of that fight?" Verde asked.

"Reborn will take care of it, if it gets too dangerous," Lal said. "He takes his duties as godfather very seriously."

Just as he said that, Verde found Tsuna plopped into his arms. "Watch him," Reborn said. He poked Tsuna in the forehead. "Behave."

Then Reborn proceeded to trounce everyone's ass, proving again, why he was the World's Greatest Hitman.

Tsuna clapped at the performance.

"What are you three trying to do here?" Verde asked warily. He was almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Make sure that Tsuna doesn't grow up like Iemitsu," Lal said plainly.

Verde tried to image Tsuna like Iemitsu, staring intently at Tsuna. Tsuna scrunched his face in response to Verde's staring. "Verde?" Tsuna asked.

Verde drew in a sharp breath. Yes, not corrupting this child into that madness was a brilliant idea.

"Where do I sign up?"

And just like that Tsuna trapped another one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Acrobaleno gets dragged into the mess. You know it's really fun writing the Arcobaleno as the only sane people in this group. And look Natsu!
> 
> Also I finished this story, it'll be a total of 10 chapters.
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out!


	4. Chapter 4

All things considered, Iemitsu was a good father. He just didn't know the meaning of moderation and was incapable of actually telling Tsuna no. Truthfully, Tsuna was easily amused and really didn't want (or need) most of the things that Iemitsu insisted on buying him.

(Natsu was an exception. Tsuna had definitely wanted the Sky Lion Cub and the two of them haven't been apart since.)

To ensure that Tsuna didn't remain spoiled, Reborn, Lal, Viper and Verde all reinforced the idea of working to earn things. The four Arcobaleno got very good at sneaking behind everyone's backs just to make sure nothing went horribly wrong.

("This is so stupid," Verde said. "We're the World's Strongest. How have we been reduced to babysitters?"

"Again, remember what Tsunayoshi is going to grow up like if we leave this be," Lal pointed out.

"... Good point.")

So Tsuna survived so far, still relatively untainted and uncorrupted by the insanity that was carried in his genes. Except for one tiny little fact. His second birthday was approaching.

("What's wrong with Tsunayoshi's birthday?" Verde asked looking at the twitching Lal and Reborn.

"I wasn't present for it, but apparently it went perfectly fine according to Lal and Reborn," Viper said.

"They wouldn't be reacting like that if it went perfectly _fine_.")

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

But, first, _Federico_.

Federico couldn't really explain it. Not really. But there was something about Tsunayoshi that made him want to kidnap his baby cousin/nephew. In his defense, the only way to spend proper alone time to play with Tsunayoshi was to kidnap him. His father doted on Tsunayoshi whenever Tsunayoshi was at Vongola. Enrico was all kinds of exasperated and Massimo was always bribing Tsunayoshi. Xanxus was fiercely protective in a way Federico couldn't never imagine his younger brother being.

Federico though? He faded in the background, a forgotten note. He wasn't really bitter about it. Enrico was Timoteo's pride and joy. Massimo the spare, Xanxus the favorite, and Tsunayoshi the baby. Federico was the ghost in a family that was already full and he was fine with that. It meant he got to skip long stuffy parties, never have to worry about paperwork as Enrico was definitely going to inherit and Xanxus had set his eyes on Varia and Massimo was already shadowing Iemitsu. There wasn't any place for Federico and he was fine with that.

Sure, he was a little bitter about it. But Federico liked to think he left his angsty teenage years behind. He could, oh arrange for his brothers' deaths like a tried and truth mafioso but _paperwork_.

(Federico had made it his goal in life to avoid as much paperwork as possible.)

So, if Federico had to label it, he guessed you could call it petty revenge that he would kidnap Tsunayoshi. For one, he and _only_ he got to play with Tsunayoshi. For two, watching and hearing about the ensuing panic as people tried to scramble to find them was downright hilarious.

"TSUUUUNNNAAAAAAA!"

Federico snickered. He played peek a boo with Tsunayoshi who was clapping and giggling. It would be a couple hours before anyone would think about checking the attic.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"TSUUUUNNNAAAAAAA!"

Squalo didn't know why he was here. He didn't know. He absolutely didn't.

All he knew was that Dino had dragged him to the Vongola Mansion, insisting on some sort of rescue mission. Whatever that meant. Squalo hadn't protested too much because it was Vongola. The best of the best and one day Squalo was going to find a way to enter this famiglia and rise to a position of power.

His beautiful powerful image of Vongola was shattered when he walked through the door to find a blond-haired man bawling his eyes out about some sort of tuna. There were other people running around, checking behind curtains and chairs. The front entrance itself was in disarray.

Dino had fucking disappeared, dragged off by his tutor. (Did Dino even know how lucky he was to have the World's Greatest Hitman tutoring him? That he was welcomed to come and go in Vongola despite not being a member and an ally only?)

That left Squalo alone in the front entrance, unsure of what he was supposed to do now.

This was solved when Xanxus had come out of nowhere and grabbed him. "VOOIII!" Squalo shouted.

Of course, he knew Xanxus. They were classmates after all. But Squalo had never interacted with him before.

"Shut up and sit down, trash!" Xanxus barked, shoving Squalo onto the red couch in the sitting room. He slapped a picture into Squalo's open hands. Squalo examined it. It was a picture of a cute brown haired toddler. "We need every fucking idiot in this place looking for Tsunayoshi."

"He was kidnapped?" Dino's words were beginning to make a little sense. A rescue mission. Squalo could get behind that.

"By my fucking scumbag of a brother," Xanxus glowered. "They're somewhere in the mansion. There weren't any fucking blind spots in the camera so Federico hasn't hacked them to sneak out of the house."

' _Are you fucking serious?'_ They were still inside the mansion?

"Is this some fucking game of hide and seek?" Squalo asked, bewildered.

"They've been gone for three fucking hours. We're going to find Tsunayoshi and beat the crap out of my brother for taking him _again_ ," Xanxus said.

…What the fuck that Dino gotten him into?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Later, after Tsunayoshi was found and Iemitsu had cried on Squalo's shoulder and loudly thanking him for finding Tsunayoshi, Squalo would be taken aside by Viper.

' _Shit. The Arcobaleno were here too?!'_

"Congratulations," Viper said dryly. "You're hired."

"For what?" Squalo blurted out. Honestly, how had no one looked the antic yet?

"To be the sane man to Xanxus's insanity."

Squalo turned to see Xanxus shot Dino in the face. Dino retaliating by wrapping his whip around Xanxus' leg and crashing him into Federico. There was an eruption of Sky Flames before all of them were doused by Rain Flames by a pissed off Lal Mirch.

"What?" Squalo asked, not processing anything Viper just told him.

Viper merely dumped Tsunayoshi into his arms. "Tsunayoshi, meet Squalo. He'll be around more often."

"Hi!" Tsunayoshi said, waving him.

This place was a fucking madhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Squalo was next. At least this means the Arcobaleno won't have to worry about Xanxus anymore, he's now Squalo's problem. lol
> 
> Happy New Years Everyone.
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out. :3


	5. Chapter 5

Counting down to Tsunayoshi's second birthday, meant everyone was busy. (Reborn and Lal were fretting and if that wasn't a clear sign to both Verde and Viper that shit was about to hit the fan, then nothing else was. Especially when you consider, it was _Reborn_.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Viper learned the hard way. It was also the first time Viper directly crossed swords with Iemitsu.

First:

"What do you mean you want buy an entire amusement park?" Viper shrieked. "The budget doesn't allow for that!"

Iemitsu pouted. "But Tsuna will love it!"

"TSUNA IS TURNING TWO AND CAN'T EVEN RIDE 80% OF THE RIDES!"

Second:

"Can I-"

"No," Viper said, refusing to rub their forehead. "No. Iemitsu."

Of course, that meant Iemitsu just went behind Viper's back.

Third:

"Absolutely nothing but the best for my tuna fishie," Iemitsu sang as he came back to headquarters with twenty different bags of party supplies.

Viper met him in the front entrance, their Mist Flames visible, pouring out and flickering with their bloodlust. Viper held out their hand. "The credit card. _Now._ "

"But, but we need more party supplies!" Iemitsu protested.

"We do not need more party supplies," Viper said through grit teeth. "We have more than enough party supplies. We have TOO MUCH party supplies. You will make do with whatever we have and then we're returning the rest."

"But-"

"The entire budget is gone you idiot!" Viper cried out. "There won't be any money left at this rate."

"But!"

"NO!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"What's our game plan?" Verde said, bursting in the room. "Iemitsu just asked me if I can build a mechanical ride version of Natsu for Tsuna."

Viper whimpered and didn't lift their head from the table. Lal drowned her shot of whiskey and Reborn (unmovable, unflappable, always in control, Reborn) rubbed his temples. (If that wasn't a sign that Verde had gotten himself into deep shit, then Verde going as insane as every other evil mad scientist.)

"There's no fucking plan," Lal hissed. "I spent the entire day redoing the security plans again because Federico got his hands on them again and I will not spend all day of Tsunayoshi's birthday dealing with a crying Iemitsu and a vanished Tsunayoshi."

"The budget is completely broke," Viper mourned.

"I've already told Dino that a real pony is still not acceptable. Put Squalo on Xanxus to make sure no weapons are bought for Tsuna. There's still a cooking competition in Vongola over who gets to make Tsuna's birthday cake this year. Nono has given everyone the day off, again. Massimo bought another toy company, one that specializes in stuffed animals. Enrico is considering buying a zoo-"

"Tsunayoshi does not need another zoo!" Viper interjected, head shooting up.

"And now he's looking at buying a house for Tsuna," Reborn finished.

"Does no one understand that Tsunayoshi is going to be two?" Verde asked in disbelief.

A loud crash could be heard outside. The four of them groaned.

Not again.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tsuna meanwhile was enjoying storytime with his grandfather. Natsu was curled up in Tsunayoshi's lap, content to remain there. Timoteo softly read the story, flipping the pages one by one.

But Tsuna was no longer paying attention to the story. Instead, he was tracking the sparkly shiny that was on his grandfather's finger.

"What has your interest, my boy?" Timoteo asked.

Tsuna reached for Timoteo's hands and the wonderful shiny thing. "Nonno," Tsuna said, pointing.

Timoteo laughed. He pulled off the Sky Ring, holding it for Tsunayoshi to observe. Tsuna let out a gleeful cry and wrapped his hands around the ring. There was a burst of Orange Flames… and out popped a very surprised Giotto.

"What…?" Giotto said, confused and looking around.

"Jii! Hi!"

Giotto looked down to see a brown-haired toddler waving at him. "Did you summon me, little one?" he asked.

"Jii!" Tsuna repeated.

"Primo," Timoteo gasped.

Giotto looked at Timoteo. "Timoteo, what is going on?"

Timoteo just continued to stare at him, stunned beyond words. Tsuna, Tsuna just laughed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"He summoned Primo?" Enrico gapped. "He summoned _Primo_?"

"Yes," Massimo nodded. "How are you handling it?"

How was Enrico handing it? All his life, it had been expected that he would inherit Vongola from his father as Decimo. But… Tsunayoshi summoned Primo. Tsuna wasn't even two yet! Didn't even have flames! HE SUMMONED PRIMO.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When he found out, Federico laughed and laughed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"He summoned Primo," Reborn said tightly. His head pulsed, feeling the onset of a growing headache.

His fellow Arcobaleno around him whimpered. They did not want to think about what this all meant.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"That's my tuna fishie!" Iemitsu beamed. He tossed Tsuna up in the air and caught him. "I knew you could do it!"

No one called him out on the fact that no one had ever been able to summon a past boss from the Ring, unless the boss was willing. No one had ever accidentally summoned Primo before. It shouldn't be _possible_.

In the process of trying to repeat the experiment, it was discovered that not only could Tsuna pull out Giotto, he could summon the entire _first generation_. Including a stunned looking Daemon, whom Giotto punched in the face and dragged off into a corner for a lecture.

Lal facepalmed. Verde started taking notes. Viper considered robbing a bank to make up for the future chaos that was about to hit the budget. Reborn, watching Giotto punch Daemon, started calculating how to actually hurt ghosts.

Tsuna, Tsuna, had the entire first generation wrapped around his fingers by that afternoon.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"We're in agreement, right?" Lal asked.

"Yes," Reborn said.

The four of them were standing on the sidelines, grimacing at the explosion that happened in front of them.

"Tsunayoshi's birthday went perfectly fine," Viper agreed.

"FUCKING MELONHEAD TRASH!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

"VOIII! WILL YOU PEOPLE CALM DOWN!"

"BOSS PLEASE PUT BASIL DOWN!"

"Absolutely fine," Verde agreed.

A wall crumbled, creating a view out to the garden as Massimo went flying out of it. The table was on fire and there was cake on the ceiling. The curtain drapes were shred to pieces, courtesy of Natsu. The window shattered when Alaude threw Knuckle through it. (Ghosts were semi-physical; that was downright terrifying).

Tsuna, safely in Reborn's arms licked the frosting of his cake off his fingers. "You have to appreciate the chaos," Reborn said mildly.

The three of them looked at him. "You're the only one who does," Lal said.

The four looked at Tsuna, who was still oblivious to the fact that all this chaos was a result of him. "You're going to be so much trouble when you grow up," Reborn told Tsuna.

Tsuna just smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the insanity continues... Hello Primo. 
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> It's KHR day over on tumblr.
> 
> I figured I would see what I could update in the spirit of that 8D Wander over to [my tumblr](http://seitosokusha.tumblr.com/) for AUs, headcanons and arts. :P

If there was someone Tsuna was not responsible for dragging, kicking and screaming, into his orbit of influence, it would be Colonnello.

No, no. _Lal_ was responsible for that particular mess.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Colonnello wasn't sure what was going on, but Lal had shown up at this workplace, pissed off. He mentally ran through the last conversations he had with her, wondering if he had done something to upset her. But considering he hadn't seen her in person in the last three years, there really wasn't anything.

Nothing that would cause her to personally come down to beat him up at least.

Unless she was still holding a grudge about that incident with that thing in Prague.

"Hi Lal, why are you here?" Colonnello asked with a grin. No matter how angry she was at him, he wasn't going to turn down being able to finally see her.

Lal's eyes were ablaze. "We need a babysitter and you're hired."

"What?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"What the -"

BANG!

"Language," Reborn remarked darkly, lowering the smoking gun.

Colonnello stared at the bullet embedded in the wall next to him. "You never cared about my language before, kora."

"Language," Viper repeated. "If Tsunayoshi picks anything crude from you, Reborn won't even have a chance to shoot you. I will shatter your mind first."

Colonnello felt as if he had just stepped into the twilight zone. Reborn… Reborn was one person. His crazy antics didn't make sense half the time, but Viper was always levelheaded to the point of dull boredom. He didn't think he had ever heard Viper be this passionate before.

"Who is Tsunayoshi?" Colonnello asked. That was a safe question.

Unceremoniously, a toddler was dumped into his arms. "Hi! I'm Tsuna," Tsuna said. "Are you coming with me and Papa to the movies?"

Colonnello gapped. He looked at Lal, desperately pleading with her to make sense.

Luckily, Lal took pity on him. "Tsunayoshi is Iemitsu's kid. Iemitsu is planning on taking him to the movies today. Unfortunately, Viper is heading out for a job, Reborn has to meet with Nono, no one has seen Verde in approximately two weeks and I have recruits to train and there's no one to replace me. We need someone to babysitter."

"But Iemitsu is going," Colonnello pointed out.

"We need someone to babysit Iemitsu," Lal said flatly.

"You have two jobs. The first is to say No to Iemitsu. Constantly. Hit him to reinforce it," Viper said. "Migrate as much damage as possible."

"The second is to not let Tsuna out of your sight," Reborn finished.

"Can Natsu come?" Tsuna asked.

"No," Reborn said sternly.

Tsuna pouted.

"Who is Natsu?" Colonnello asked, bewildered.

"Tsuna's pet lion."

There was something completely wrong with that sentence. Since when were lions kept as pets? By toddlers no less?

"Behave for Colonnello, Tsuna," Reborn said, poking Tsuna on the forehead.

Tsuna scowled at that, rubbing his forehead. "Padrino," he whined.

Colonnello was not freaked out by the parentally way Reborn was acting. Or the fact that this toddler in his hands just addressed Reborn as godfather. Who the hell made Reborn a godfather?! Who thought it was a good idea?!

"You'll be able to handle it," Lal said.

"Sure," Colonnello said. It sounded easy enough. Just babysitting. What could go wrong?

(Famous last words, Colonnello)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It turned out a lot could go wrong and Colonnello could not handle it all.

"You look like crap," Verde said as Colonnello staggered into the room. He was covered in melted chocolate ice cream and looked completely exhausted.

"Where the hell were you, kora?" Colonnello shouted. If Verde was here, he could have gone in Colonnello's place and had to deal with that insanity.

Verde of course ignored him.

"How did it go?" Lal asked.

"It was horrible," Colonnello said, staring at his shaking hands. "Iemitsu tried to buy everything in the snack bar for Tsuna, and then during the movie, Tsuna got upset at one of the scenes and Iemitsu wouldn't shut up. The ending was so horrible that Iemitsu got it in his head to reenact the movie to fix the ending and started making calls about hiring people to remake the movie. I tackled him to the ground and in the process Tsunayoshi wandered off somewhere and Iemitsu broke down bawling in the middle of street. I tracked Tsunayoshi to an ice cream parlor and then Iemitsu had the brilliant idea to buy the ice cream shop that his 'tuna fishie loved so much!'"

"Did you stop him from actually buying anything?" Viper asked.

"I had to knock him out, which caused his chocolate ice cream to fall on him and then I had to haul him and Tsunayoshi back here," Colonnello said with a hysterical voice.

"And where is Tsuna now?" Reborn asked.

"I gave him to Oregano who said she would put him with Basil?"

The four other Arcobaleno looked at him before sharing a look. "Acceptable," Reborn said. "You passed."

"Passed what?" Colonnello yelped. Was this all a prank? He knew it! There was no way Iemitsu was actually that crazy.

"Congratulations," Verde said dryly. "You get to do it all over again tomorrow when Dino and Xanxus fight over who gets to take Tsuna to the aquarium."

"Don't worry. Squalo will be present to help you rein them in," Viper added.

"You'll be fine. Make sure they don't destroy the aquarium in the process," Lal added.

… Wait so today's craziness was _normal_?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Colonnello did not agree to this job. -snicker-
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out!


	7. Chapter 7

Here was the thing about Federico constantly kidnapping Tsuna and sneaking off with him, Tsuna at the impressionable age of four had learned how to do the same. So to the constant heart attacks of Iemitsu, the CEDEF and Tsuna's long list of babysitters, Tsuna learned how to slip his bodyguards/babysitters and wander off.

(Needless to say, Reborn personally put Federico in the infirmary with several broken bones the first time Tsuna successfully pulled off sneaking away.)

Eventually it was bound to set off another chain reaction.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hayato hated his family. He couldn't believe the kind lady who taught him piano was his mother. His father had lied to him and now she was dead. Tears threaten to fall again from his eyes and Hayato blindly ran, unsure of where he was going. Finally, he hid in the bushes of an unknown park.

"Hi!"

Hayato blinked, wiping the tears away quickly. There was another kid, the same age as him with fluffy brown hair looking at him.

"I'm Tsuna," the kid introduced himself. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," Hayato stammered out. He wouldn't, couldn't, be this weak.

Tsuna merely smiled at him. "Do you want to play?"

"O-okay."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Iemitsu was in tears. His precious tuna-fishie was missing (again!) and Iemitsu had no idea where he had gone. Everyone was looking, but when _Reborn_ couldn't find Tsuna, Iemitsu knew things were going bad.

"Papa."

Iemitsu could practically hear Tsuna. His precious son must be so scare! 'Don't worry Tsuna! Papa will find out!'

"Papa!"

Huh. Tsuna didn't sound scare. Iemitsu blinked, looking down to see Tsuna holding hands with a silver haired boy the same age as him. "Tsu-Tsuna?!" Iemitsu cried out.

Everyone else in the room froze, whipping around to stare at the previously missing toddler.

"Papa! Can Hayato stay with us?" Tsuna asked.

"Of course!" Iemitsu said, sweeping Tsuna and his new friend into a hug. "I'm just so happy you're safe!"

Everyone else continued to stare in various degrees of horror.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hayato soon proved to be as stubborn as rock and refused to leave despite the many threats thrown his way. In fact, Lal had thrown him out a couple times and Hayato just found his way back. (Viper and Verde on the other hand questioned what it meant when someone willingly refused to leave Tsuna's side. Then they looked at Dino who was once again skipping school to come and play with Tsuna and left it at that.)

One:

"Look just tell us where you're from. I'm sure your family is worried," Lal said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"No," Hayato said, crossing his arms. "I don't care about them."

"You brat!"

Two:

"What the hell? I threw you out!" Lal said.

Hayato just glared at her as he climbed through the now broken window. Viper meanwhile growled and looked half a step from throwing the broken glass shards at Hayato.

"I came back," Hayato said gruffly.

The sound of thundering feet came running towards them. Tsuna appeared around the corner, smiling wide. "Hayato!" Tsuna said, pulling his friend into a hug. "Where did you go?"

"Hmph, not that far," Hayato said. He stuck his tongue out at Lal behind Tsuna's back.

"You have to come meet G," Tsuna said.

"Who's that?" Hayato asked as Tsuna led him down the hall.

"Tsuna is going to be terribly sad if he ever figures out you've been throwing out Hayato out on the streets," Verde calmly remarked.

Lal exploded in killer intent, gashing her teeth.

Three:

"Aren't you Bianchi's brother?" Reborn asked. He peered down at Hayato, his black eyes just visible beneath the brim of his hat.

Hayato swallowed hard, recognizing the man who had taught his (half) sister the way of a hitwoman. "What of it?" he challenged, with false bravo.

"I'm going to call her to pick you up," Reborn said.

That turned out a mistake because all it took was Tsuna to pout at her for Bianchi to sweep him into a hug. Hayato smugly gloated at the Arcobaleno as his (admittedly awesome) sister took his side. For the first time Reborn facepalmed at her reaction.

("Well that was a mistake," Viper said dryly.)

Somehow that turned into an open invitation for Hayato to permanently stay and for Bianchi to come and go as she pleased.

Tsuna was extra pleased.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Well on the bright side," Lal said, taking a swing of her scotch, "at least Tsuna is finally making friends his own age." Her shoulders slumped. "That's supposed to be good for him right? I saw it somewhere in one of those parenting books Iemitsu bought."

"Hayato is rather overprotective of Tsuna. This might be a good thing," Viper said. "We can train him into being the perfect bodyguard."

"All this means is that we have two brats to keep an eye out on," Verde said. "What happens when the chaos surrounding them reaches critical mass and they get into trouble?"

"Shit."

Startled, the three of them jumped at the soft curse from Reborn. Anytime Reborn broke his calm and collected persona was cause of concern. He was so intuned with Tsuna that he was probably already sensing the next storm.

"I'm canceling my mission," Reborn said.

That… that was a very bad omen.

"They're going to the zoo tomorrow with Iemitsu and Colonnello correct?" Verde said. "I'll put my experiment on hold."

"The meeting can wait," Viper said.

"I'll find someone to replace me," Lal agreed.

The ominous feeling clung in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hayato: 1 Arcobaleno: 0
> 
> Tsuna is finally collecting his Guardians!
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out. :3


	8. Chapter 8

It was bound to happen eventually. Truly, it was a blessing that they had gone four years without an incident. Then again, who was stupid enough to challenge Vongola, the CEDEF and half of the Arcobaleno?

The answer was idiots of course.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Wait, why am I here, kora?" Colonnello asked, irritated. "You told me no one could babysit Iemitsu and Tsuna and yet all four of you are here?"

Reborn steadfastly ignored him in favor of keeping an eye on Tsuna, Hayato and Iemitsu. The three of them were intently watching the lions and paying no attention to their babysitters.

"No seriously," Colonnello complained. "Why are you four here, kora?"

"We think something is going to happen," Lal finally answered. Her eyes were also glued to Tsuna, Hayato and Iemitsu, watching them like a hawk.

"Why?" Colonnello demanded to know.

"Because Reborn is oddly in tuned with Tsunayoshi and if our local chaos expert is expecting something to happen, we should listen to it and prepare for the worse," Verde said.

"I can't believe you're such a mother hen," Colonnello said, poking at Reborn's arm and snickering. Reborn whirled around, slamming his ten ton Leon hammer onto Colonnello's head. Colonnello went stumbling back, hitting Viper and falling to the ground.

"You're so fucking violent, kora," Colonnello snapped. He nursed his new bump and glared up at Reborn who merely scoffed.

Verde sighed, pushing up his glasses. "Idiots."

"Get off of me," Viper snarled, pushing Colonnello off.

"Stop pushing Reborn's buttons," Lal said.

"TSUUUNNNNNAAAA!"

The five of them froze, eyes snapping back to where they had last seen Iemitsu, Tsuna and Hayato. Iemitsu was frantically looking around and Tsuna and Hayato were nowhere in sight.

"We look away for one second," Lal cursed.

"Someone is dead," Reborn said flatly, promising a world of pain.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was shortly discovered by the five irate Arcobaleno that some no-name famiglia had kidnapped Tsuna and Hayato. The resulting killer intent from the five of them knocked out everyone in the area in a dead faint. An inconsolable Iemitsu was left with Oregano while the five Arcobaleno went off in a hunt.

"I call dibs, kora," Colonnello said.

"Not if I get there first," Reborn said.

"As long as they suffer before they die," Lal said.

"I will break their minds," Viper said.

"Already tracking them down," Verde said.

Blood was going to be spilled today.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Skull always wanted to be a hero. Only, he lacked the courage to be one. But fate smiled kindly on him and it just so happened that Skull hit a rock on the street, which caused his bike to veer off the road and he crashed through a window in a spectacular fashion.

He wasn't known as the Immortal Skull for nothing and Skull recovered quickly. That was when he noticed several things that he didn't like. First, there were ten men in the room, armed with guns and blades. Second, there was a pair of terrified kids tied up in the corner. Third, the silver haired kid was hurt.

Skull attacked.

Now, the thing people forgot was no matter how weak Skull appeared to be, no matter how cowardly he may act, no matter how young he looked, he was still an Arcobaleno, one of the world's strongest. It was a very short and one sided battle all things considered.

Skull kneeled down, untying the two boys. "Are you two alright?"

"Don't you dare hurt Tsuna-sama!" the silver haired boy snarled at him.

"Hayato," Tsuna said, pressing close to him.

That was when the wall closest to them crumbled revealing five angry Arcobaleno.

"S-Skull?" Lal said, surprised.

"What are you doing here?" Verde asked.

"Rescuing these kids," Skull said, dumbfounded and surprised to see the others here.

The five of them shared a look and a silent conversation. Skull felt the hairs on his neck stand up and he wasn't sure what it meant but it did not bode well for him. He usually got that feeling before Reborn took a shot at him.

"You've been recruited," Viper said.

Reborn snatched Tsuna up, cuddling the small boy to his chest. Skull just gaped, surprised to see Reborn acting affectionate. There was only a minute hesitation before Hayato jumped into Reborn's arms too. Reborn merely shifted Tsuna to one arm and picked up Hayato in the order before storming out.

Who was this? When did someone replace Reborn? Why wasn't anyone else doing anything?

"What's going on?" Skull asked, so confused.

"I'll explain, kora," Colonnello said. "But get use to not having a life that doesn't make sense anymore."

Nothing made sense! "Reborn is acting like…" Skull trailed off, not wanting to ignite Reborn's legendary temper.

"Like a mother hen?" Colonnello said with a snort. "It's only going to get worse."

Skull wanted to be a hero. He may come to regret that decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Arcobaleno has been dragged in kicking and screaming. Just Fon left. 8D
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out.


	9. Chapter 9

Iemitsu always ensured that Tsuna remembered where he came from. They may live in Italy right now, but Iemitsu and Nana both grew up in Japan. Their family history was there and Iemitsu had gone out of his way to make sure Tsuna learned Japanese along with his Italian and kept what little Japanese traditions Iemitsu remembered alive.

(Incidentally, Vongola and the CEDEF adopted many Japanese traditions as a result and the six Arcobaleno became experts on Japanese culture as they tried to sort fact from fiction, reality from Iemitsu's spotty memory.)

So this meant once Tsuna was old enough (at the tender and precious age of five), trips to Japan became more frequent.

The problem arose in the fact that Iemitsu never told anyone he was taking Tsuna to Japan.

"Papa, Japan?"

"Of course Tuna-fishie!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE IDIOT TOOK BABY SKY TO JAPAN?!"

"But, but I wanted to play with my little bro today!"

"Iemitsu is a dead man walking."

"YOU IDIOT WHY ARE YOU IN JAPAN AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT INFORMING PEOPLE BEFORE YOU GO?!"

Iemitsu would laugh and said he could handle it, but Lal knew better. Without Tsuna around, everything back home was thrown into chaos. Dino would mope, Xanxus and Federico were bonding over plans how to kill Iemitsu. Reborn was sulking, angry and completely unapproachable.

Lal was still not paid enough to deal with all of this.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Naturally, without an army of babysitters/Tsuna watchers, Iemitsu would lose Tsuna within minutes of arriving in Namimori.

"TSUNNNAAAAA! COME BACK!"

Back in Italy, Lal felt the urge to facepalm. She had no idea what was happening in Japan right now, but somehow Iemitsu had screwed up. If she could, she would call him and demand to know but she was too busy trying to stop Reborn from doing something completely drastic. Viper and Verde were absolutely no help, Skull was a mess and Colonnello was adding fuel to the fire.

(She was not responsible if the CEDEF headquarters burned down by the time Iemitsu got back. Seriously, Tsuna left and suddenly Lal was the only sane person left in the room.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

In the nearby playground in Namimori, Tsuna met Hibari Kyoya for the first time.

In another universe, Tsuna would grow up alone with his mother in Japan. Terribly shy and without any friends at this age, he would have never reached out to someone as dangerous as Kyoya. However, in this universe, so beloved by everyone, surrounded by such warm chaos and Flames, this Tsuna was so infinitely more confident (and quite arguably more clueless.)

"Hi!"

Kyoya himself had a terrible feeling upon meeting this small fluffy animal. He looked harmless, but at six, Kyoya's instincts were top notched and he knew this small animal was dangerous.

Ultimately he was proven right when that same no-name famiglia (persistently filled with idiots who survived conflict like cockroaches) popped out of nowhere and making a grab for Tsuna.

Please remember this was Hibari Kyoya.

At six, a couple low level mocks were still no match for him. Tonfas immediately came out and Kyoya leapt at them, pouncing like a carnivore.

Please remember this Tsuna grew up in the heart of Vongola where beating up people was an admirable and impressive trait. He immediately clapped at Kyoya's fighting skills.

"Wow! That's cool," Tsuna said, eyes sparkling.

It was the start of a beautiful friendship. Well, friendship on Tsuna's part. Kyoya's line of thinking followed as: small animal attracted strong opponents plus small animal was equally dangerous equal a win for Kyoya.

Yes it was the start of an absolutely beautiful friendship.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Maybe she should have let Reborn get on the plane and go after Iemitsu after all. She left a beaten up Iemitsu in the capable hands of Oregano and wandered back over to where the others were watching their ward. Tsuna had came back with another friend… from Japan.

(Where did they go wrong that Tsuna thought kidnapping was acceptable at this age?)

"Wait…" Verde said. "Does this kid look familiar?"

Colonnello drew in a sharp breath. "That's… a Hibari."

"What?" Skull asked.

"The Hibari clan is infamous. They're so strong and untamable that getting one to work for you was seen as a sign of power," Viper said.

"He came back with a Hibari," Lal despaired. She felt a headache growing.

"We're calling Fon," Reborn said.

Tsuna? Tsuna just dragged Kyoya off to meet Hayato.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha hello Hibari. xD 
> 
> Please leave a review on your way out!


	10. Chapter 10

Fon didn’t know what to expect when Reborn had shown up and all but dragged him off to the CEDEF headquarters. He had heard the stories of course. Something about how Lal’s blood pressure was through the roof. Colonnello was armed with the most unusual things on hand. Viper muttering constantly under their breath about calculations and budgets. Verde had mentioned something about a lion and Skull was walking around with parenting books for reasons Fon had yet to find out.

Finding his nephew was not what he expected.

Nor was meeting Sawada Tsunayoshi.

“Kyoya?” Fon asked in disbelief. Why was Kyoya here in Italy? Why wasn’t he in Japan? Did his parents know?

Kyoya just looked up at him, clearly unimpressed to see him. His nephew ignored Fon and returned to indulging a younger brown haired toddler who insisted on holding Kyoya’s hand.

Lal grabbed Fon by the collar of his shirt. “Tsunayoshi brought back a Hibari. Specifically your nephew. Fix this!”

What Lal expected him to fix and how he was supposed to fix it, Fon didn’t know. It shouldn’t be too hard though, right?

Famous last words Fon.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It turned out that Fon didn’t know many things. Like how he, Kyoya and Tsunayoshi ended up outside. Like how Tsunayoshi disappeared and Kyoya actually looked concerned about it. Like how he tracked Tsunayoshi down to a place that experimenting on children.

Fon may have overreacted. Just a little.

In his defense, Fon was worried out of his mind. Kyoya insisted on running ahead into stronger men who wanted to hurt him, Tsunayoshi was still missing and Fon could still feel the chill that Reborn had sent down his spine with the warning of what he would do should anything, _anything_ happen to Tsuna.

He winced a little as the building that previously housing those awful experiments crumbled under the full force of Fon’s Flames. Fon winced once more as he looked at the five children with him (Kyoya, Tsuna and the only three children still alive from the experiments).

Lal was going to kill him.

That was assuming Reborn didn’t beat her to it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Lal glowered at Fon. “What do you have to say for yourself?” she asked, growling. ‘Because I distinctly remember asking you to fix this… NOT MAKE IT WORSE!”

Fon hung his head in shame.

“Left with two, came back with five,” Verde said. “Remarkable. Not even Skull managed to do that.”

Tsuna was currently being passed around to the crying and worried family members. Xanxus was growling as he checked over Tsuna, with Squalo hovering and Dino reaching to grab Tsuna from Xanxus. Unfazed by all of this and enjoying the attention, Tsuna merely laughed and answered all of the questions thrown his way.

Iemitsu, the idiot, snatched Tsuna from Xanxus and smothered Tsuna in a hug, crying tears of joy that Tsuna was hold safe and sound.

“Papa?”

Everyone froze. Fon curiously noted the look of despair that the other Arcobaleno had on their faces.

“Can they stay?” Tsuna asked.

Iemitsu beamed. “Of course we can keep your new siblings Tsuna!”

Lal looked at him in horror before punching him into a wall. Dino caught Tsuna before he tumbled to the ground.

“WE ARE NOT A FUCKING ORPHANAGE!” Lal screeched.

Fon looked at Reborn in quiet awe. “How do all of you handle this?”

Reborn, polishing his gun, grimaced. “With plenty of alcohol.”

Skull squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. “Yeah, lots of alcohol.”

That was when one of the small boys that Fon had rescued broke away from his friends and approached Tsuna. He was small and frail looking with a bandage around his left eye, but was still just slightly taller than Tsuna. Tsuna just beamed at him as the boy wrapped him in a tight hug. “Mine,” he declared with an eerie smile.

The room exploded.

“HE’S NOT YOURS!” Hayato shouted.

“I’ll bite you to death!” Kyoya leaped at the taller boy.

“You fucking brat!” Xanxus snapped, pulling out his guns.

Fon’s jaw dropped as an all out brawl broke out. He was about to jump in before Skull stopped him. Reborn reappeared with Tsuna in his hand.

“You’re going to be so much trouble when you grow up,” Reborn said with a huff.

Tsuna merely giggled. “But I thought you like chaos, padrino?”

“Cheeky brat.”

“Is it always like this?” Fon asked weakly. He watched as one of the walls came tumbling down.

“Yes,” the rest of the Arcobaleno chorused.

“I’ll take that drink now,” Fon said.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sawada Tsunayoshi was the eye of a chaos storm, sweeping up everyone in his path. A magnetic force that could not be ignored, drawing in the most dangerous. There was such a wide variety, many uncles and aunties, brothers and sisters, and grandparents. His father was a little silly, but his godfather was always supportive. They were loud, dangerous and by no means normal.

Still Tsuna wouldn’t change anything in the world for them. He loved them too much for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s tentatively a wrap! Haha I never really expected to write this much more and I couldn’t be bothered to be figure out how Tsuna got the rest of his Guardians (so sorry if you wanted to see Yamamoto or any other characters). If I ever figure it out, I’ll come back to this plunny.
> 
> In the meantime, you can wander over to my [tumblr](http://seitosokusha.tumblr.com/tagged/it-takes-a-village-au). There’s a couple more notes with a slightly older Tsuna you can read about. You’re also welcome to ask me more about this AU.
> 
> Thank you so much for the support. Please leave a review on your way out!

**Author's Note:**

> -totally wrote Iemitsu as if he was Isshin from Bleach- -bricked- He tries. He kinda succeeds. You'll be fine Tsuna! (Assuming you don't dig your own grave before your first birthday).
> 
> visit [here](http://seitosokusha.tumblr.com/tagged/it-takes-a-village-au) for more headcanons.
> 
> Leave a review on your way out please! 8D


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